The solution was simpler than my brain wanted.
You can't remove the bracket, but you don't have to.
(Apologies for the photos, I did my best.)
To get the canister out, you bend those two metal clips towards the front of the bike, as stated in the original post. You just need a long tool to do it:
Surprisingly, there is then enough room to push the canister up and off of the brackets.
Better with video:
Removal of the hose clamps:
Also, my hose clamps / clips were reusable:
Spliced fuel overflow hose:
Ran it down to the bottom engine cover, as others have done.
(Sorry, I forgot to measure the hose OD or ID, and the hose barb I had on hand was unmarked. It looked bigger than 1/4" to me.)
The throttle body hose seems to be 10mm with a 5mm I.D.
Bolt to plug throttle body hose - a #10 between 1/2" and 1" fits best, but a #8 with a flat head would do:
The #10 threads in, a #8 pushes in.
The bolt I used was from an Ikea chair or something, had a nice flat head. But I don't think you need to be especially picky.
Little dab of silicone sealant to make sure:
I also added a zip tie to keep the screw from falling out (not shown).
Finished (for now):
Yes, OK, I will take that bracket off later!
Note I am officially blaming each and every one of you reprobates for complaining that the 2013-2015 models had that ugly canister just hanging out there. That's why Ducati put the cover on mine!
It has been suggested this will fix my stalling issue, so if you guys could cross your fingers for me, I'd appreciate it.